A Letter of Apology

Dear Me,

I'm sorry I took so long to like me. 
I'm glad I finally have my relationship heading in the right direction. 
Because I am pretty amazing.

I know I often tell people how happy I am. But I am still surprised sometimes by how true that statement actually is. I feel pretty. I feel confident. I feel deserving. And now I'm realizing that I was always all of those things, but I couldn't see it because I was too consumed with hate for myself. And for that I am so incredibly sorry.

Now I take myself to the hairdresser regularly. I finally feel I deserve nice hair that's styled. I feel I deserve the edgy trends and the hot colours that I always wanted but was scared would draw too much attention, or felt that I wasn't pretty enough to get. I'm sorry it took me almost 34 years to get here.

I have another tattoo appointment booked. I never felt I was deserving of tattoos because I couldn't think of body parts that I liked enough to decorate, even though I loved them so much. And now I'm not ashamed of my body parts anymore and feel that I can adorn them in whatever beautiful way I see fit. I'm sorry that I ever felt that any part of me wasn't good enough. 

I know these things sound superficial...but in a way they are representative of so much. I finally see myself as deserving. I'm finally not scared to stand up and be the person I am, inside and out.

I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to live as the person I am supposed to be. I always knew who I was. I just didn't think I deserved to have anything amazing because I was too nerdy, too fat, too shy, too ....well the list goes on. I'm sorry I kept who I really am bottled up for so long.

I won't apologize though, if this sounds conceited. I acknowledge that I can always be a little more awesome tomorrow than I was today. And I know that not everyone I meet will think I am as amazing as I do. But at the end of the day, I need to make sure that I am happy with myself, and for the first time in far too long, I can say that this is happening regularly.

So now I forgive myself for mistreating me for all those years. And I move forward, day after day....being happy. Being ME.
Thank you for your extreme patience on this matter. I promise that this will not happen again.

Love, Me
xoxo