It’s been a while since I’ve sat down to write anything. The truth is, my passion is getting this message out, not necessarily writing about it (I am a math teacher after all - writing doesn't always come naturally). So I don’t stress myself out over the blog. But when the itch happens to share something, I like to sit down at my leisure and write.
I got a text the other night from a cousin and friend. And it gave me the itch to share. It read:
“I just want to say thanks. Because I have been completely different and [my boyfriend] has noticed. I know I haven’t lost weight like I used to want to. But I have gained a thousand times more confidence and it has done wonders for me. I got a new job, I feel so much better day to day, even when I skip the gym. [My boyfriend] is so much more attracted to me just because I am so confident in how I look. I am no longer mad about looking bad in photos because I know I’m having a hell of a time when those photos are taken. I’m so so happy you started ‘Decidedly Beautiful’ because it has such an amazing positive impact on so many people. You are amazing. Thank you so much for helping me realize that I’m beautiful no matter what and that I have such a great life.”
I teared up when I read it to myself. Then I read it to my husband and I sobbed while reading it.
This cousin of mine is a gorgeous woman. She’s stunning and athletic and tall and fit and the list goes on. In fact, I remember my sister and I on a number of occasions lamenting our own bodies and wishing for hers because it was perfect. So this text to me is so much more than just an incredibly moving thank you. It’s a lesson.
This woman - who is gorgeous - lacked confidence in her appearance. Body hating is not just a problem with people who are overweight. This is a problem with EVERYONE – all shapes and sizes. I’ve said it before - we are fed a definition of beauty by the media that is unachievable by the rest of us. It causes distorted body image in everyone. And it makes me angry that someone like my cousin would ever believe that she was anything but beautiful.
It’s also a little sad to think that had I learned how much negativity she had about herself a year ago, my mind would immediately have gone to “if she thinks SHE’S fat, I wonder what she thinks of me” and let that destroy my confidence even more. We’ve all done that. We continue to do that. Every time we beat ourselves up, we destroy a little bit of the people around us as well. And in truth, our self-image is often so distorted we only see the fault in ourselves and not others anyway.
So I say again – and again and again and again – let’s change the current definition of beautiful. Beauty is SO MUCH MORE than what is in the magazines. Stop the negative self-talk. Let’s start to talk to and think about ourselves the way we would about others. Let’s build ourselves and each other up. Let’s remember that just because SOMEONE ELSE is beautiful, it doesn’t mean WE aren’t.
I see the change starting to happen. I see the passion in people. I see celebrities speaking out, and movements making change. And most importantly, I see it happening right around me – to the people who read this blog and follow my facebook posts and see how amazing the change to body loving can be. I hope more people can join me in making this change.
I'm so grateful for you all. Thank you for being so amazing. Thank YOU for helping me have the confidence to continue by letting me know that people are listening. I can’t wait to see what we can accomplish.
And a special thanks to my cousin, for giving me permission to share this. You are an amazing and beautiful person, inside and out. I love you my friend, and I'm so grateful for your kind words. But more than that, I am so completely happy that you are finding yourself and your happiness and I'm thrilled to be a part of that.
xoxoxo
